Oratorio
Revision #1 K. sleeps in the cancer ward, patients in draped white beds. Summer air billows the hallway curtains, silence seems to spill from a jar. I cover her exposed leg, slender foot, the...
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The first two stanzas very clear as they set the scene.Kathleen sleeps in the cancer ward, long white curtains blow silently in the first warm breeze of the year. I cover her exposed leg and heat...
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Really beautiful poem. I think I must have missed an earlier version? But this one is so good. Such a gorgeous and perfect ending. (Shouldn't it be "to hell with other strollers"?) Also great: Her...
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Dale and Toni---another revision just posted, my edit reflecting your views.struggling, but as with every pom. You both help a great deal.thanks.bernie
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The flow through the messages is off to me and they begin with the highlight. Try mixing them up; perhaps adding more detail- She asks about messages. The children called from France. Your mother,...
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a beauty. I know you are dealing (perhaps have had to deal with already) the sad part end of the story. In comparison, the poetry must pale. Know that my thoughts are will you. Terry
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